This year Christmas is a special one, which marks my 7th year anniversary as Christian, and am grateful that i learned TWO new words: Repent and Contentment. This year 2012 was full of hassles for me. I faced angers, disappointment, stress, challenge, and uncertainties. For one point, i realize i just too greedy and asked too much, which actually i had several good moments too, and instead to feel joyful i let the negative feeling filled my mind most of the time. Why was i always let this sinfulness to leave in my heart? It got me to think that i put my own benefit on top of my love to my family and Jesus. I wish i can get promoted, yet i got terminated and replaced with new contract with lower pay. I felt jealous as it turned out that i only worth the qualification like those fresh grads. While i am hoping someone superior than me as in position, to defend me, they told me i wasn't promoting myself hard enough. I am disappointed to be treated like this. The joys of friends and relatives to grow their family added another pressure to myself, i am happy for them and at the same time, i wonder why there is not my turn yet? As the eldest in the family, i am facing the financial crisis of the family. While i am accusing my parents to be stubborn, i realized i am just the same as them. Sometimes i had a forceful smile to myself and surrounding, till then, God has sent his angels to me. HE told me to repent and feel contented. This got me to think that what we are having right now, is not a must and what we wished. Instead, it is just a process that God wanted us to go through. The true meaning is how does all these reality turn out to be a realization of how weakly we are. Only when we repent, to understand the sacrifice of Jesus to clean our sins, and so we learn to be grateful, joyful and a better person. When we are asking for more, we will eventually find out that we would never get the maximum of what we wanted. The more you dream, the farther that dream it becomes. It is now important to be contented, and be grateful that at least i am alive with my love one, and ain't face hunger.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in
whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and
I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the
secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
God, thanks for letting me know about these. Please use me for Your plan.
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